


Peloton Problems

by Soaring_through_the_stars



Series: Jodie Foster, Stripper [2]
Category: Dungeons and Daddies (Podcast)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Jodie Foster is a stripper, Jodie's status as a stripper and not a cop is revealed via Peloton, M/M, Peloton, Pre-Relationship, no editing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-25 20:20:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30094587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soaring_through_the_stars/pseuds/Soaring_through_the_stars
Summary: After the mess that is Faerun and Jodie's entire life, he's surprised he's managed to masquerade as a highway cop for this long.He definitely didn't expect that to end because he buys a Peloton.
Relationships: Jodie Foster (Dungeons and Daddies)/Glenn Close (Dungeons and Daddies)
Series: Jodie Foster, Stripper [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2214369
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11
Collections: Good Cop Bad Cop





	Peloton Problems

**Author's Note:**

> Yet again, another fic I blasted out into the internet to exist forever, have fun with this trash fic.

Out of all the things to blow his cover, Jodie did not expect it to be his fucking Peloton.

Everybody’s fine with the fact he bought a three bedroom home pretty soon after Faerun, nobody cares that he can afford the equipment for his own fully stocked weight room, not a single one of Nicholas’ friends take a second glance at Nicholas’ decked out gaming setup, even the goddamn _stripper pole in the weight room_ goes unnoticed, but as soon as they see the new Peloton, they go apeshit.

The fucking **_Peloton_**.

There is no way on earth Jodie is able to afford _any_ of the stuff he has on a highway cop’s salary, yet nobody was even a little bit suspicious! Until! The! Peloton!

This is some complete and utter bull.

Like, he’s not complaining about being able to keep up the façade years longer than he thought he would be able to, even through the giant mess that was Faerun and Nicholas—Nick? it’s hard to tell day by day which one he wants to be called—getting back the memories of Glenn as his parent.

And himself, actually, gaining memories without Nicholas in them, which end a bit sooner than he would like, so he guesses there were some positives from the meddling of Justice.

Okay, so _maybe_ he didn’t end up telling his son anything after plan FB, sue him. The other dads aren’t very slow, especially when Darryl tosses Ron at him like a torpedo and knocks him over.

Luckily all of that is in the past, and right now he has to deal with the fact that Glenn just confronted him about not actually being a cop.

Why Glenn of all people? Simple, Glenn lives with them.

_No_ , he and Glenn aren’t in a relationship ~~though most everybody thinks it’s only a matter of time~~. After everybody gained memories laid on top of the other ones, in the whole confusing mess it was decided that Glenn and Jodie would coparent Nicholas/Nick.

Thus, resulting in Jodie buying a three-bedroom house and having Glenn of all people—though they seem to be getting along pretty well now, in fact all of the dads are closer—move into the third bedroom.

Again, Glenn questions nothing about Jodie’s lifestyle.

Not a single damn thing.

In fact, Glenn actually barges into the weight room when Jodie is doing a pole routine and does nothing but _wink_ and say, “Man, that cop shit it crazy, huh?”

Actual insanity.

The other dads invited him to go and party with them and their partners, and Jodie had to decline because he was working, only for the dads and partners to _show up at the club he is currently doing a performance at and stare at him_. Don’t even talk to him about how awkward his passes at that section were when Henry and Samantha _stuffed bills into his shirt_.

He never complains about mask days after that.

Anyway, back to how his entire mountain of lies and deception that, really, should have collapsed a long time ago, crumbles at his feet.

Jodie has to keep in shape. Of course he does, it’s pretty obvious why he would need to do so, and if it’s not then he has zero hope.

Now, lifting weights is good for strengthening up and getting that muscle definition that is essential for his job, strength and aesthetics. However, there is this one area that he lacks in a little bit.

Stamina.

Get that mind out of the gutter, that’s not what he means.

The longer his performances, the more money he makes as people get hot and bothered. A little bit crude, but that’s the general gist of his situation.

The only problem is Jodie _hates_ running.

Running in general is a terrible exercise. Not that many calories are burned for the amount of time exercising, plus so much space is needed. The only way to actually get a good workout in while running is to do sprints, and there’s no easy way to do that on a treadmill, and Jodie is _not_ going to look like a fool in his neighborhood by sprinting and walking back and forth or going around the block in short little concentrated bursts.

So, biking it is.

The only problem is—or, well, the _main_ problem is—Jodie never learned how to ride a bike.

He taught Nicholas through pure and utter luck—just like everything else—and so he never felt any need to correct that himself.

Until now, that is.

Just kidding, he’s just going to buy a stationary bike, there is no way he’s going to get on that deathtrap of a transportation vehicle.

Now, which one should he buy?

There’s all these basic models, and Jodie buys one to begin with.

And it’s lovely.

Biking is a huge improvement to running, and much more enjoyable too.

The downside is that, just like running, it gets a little bit boring after a while.

Sure, he can listen to podcasts or music, but his eyes really need something to focus on so they don’t keep slipping over to where Glenn is—

So his eyes don’t wander around while he’s biking and distract him.

Stationary bikes with screen have quite a few options, but since this is looking to be a permanent thing, why shouldn’t he splurge a little bit?

And thus, enter Peloton.

It takes a couple of weeks to get to his home, and those weeks are the longest of Jodie’s life as… distractions… do not go away.

When it finally arrives, Jodie has the house to himself and fully takes advantage of that time to set up the bike.

The temptation, once the bike is all set up and glistening, is too much. Jodie _has_ to take a ride on it.

The last thing Jodie expects 30 minutes into an enjoyable and rather difficult is an exclamation from behind him.

“What the FUCK is that?”

* * *

Apparently, Glenn decides that Jodie cannot be a cop if he owns a Peloton. Blah blah blah, something about he would be mercilessly bullied, and he’s too sweet—wait, what??—to be able to withstand that sort of thing, and so he must not actually be a cop.

Which, not how he thought his job would be revealed, but he’s surprised it’s taken this long so he’s going to accept it.

Glenn, thankfully, doesn’t get rid of the Peloton.

Also, when Glenn inevitably tells the other dads of his revelation, the frostiness that remained between them faded away completely.

Jodie isn’t completely sure if it’s worth it, though, when he has to listen to Henry extoll his support for sex work, Ron’s complete confusion, and Darryl’s attempts to reconcile it with his past views.

However, when he sees how Glenn sometimes glances at him out of the corner of his eye?

Ok, maybe it’s worth it.

Just a little bit.


End file.
